Thursday, April 16, 2009

Pedestals and Chivalry


My parents raised my sister and me to be self-sufficient. We couldn't drive a car until we changed the tire on it to prove that if we got a flat we could handle it. We cut the grass, washed the cars, played sports and held down part time jobs. I like the fact that I know I can take care of myself. Right or wrong, I feel disdain for women who can't take care of themselves. However, like most things in life, this self-sufficiency seems to have a downside too.

One problem that I have noticed with women who take care of themselves is that the men in our lives begin to take that for granted. I can lift heavy objects so I often carry things myself, even when there's a guy around. I can fix small things around the house so the amount of times they get fixed for me are limited.

I know it's a double standard. I know that I want the best of both worlds. I want to be an independent woman but I also want to be placed on a pedestal every now and then. Sometimes, I want to feel like a woman and not a complete equal. I want to be treated like a princess every now and then.

I love it when gentlemen (and I am intentionally differentiating these from men) hold the door open for me or let me step onto the elevator first. It's nice to have someone offer a hand when your arms are full. In return, I try to be polite to those around me - both men and women - and offer the same gestures.

I know this is a rambling post, but I'm frustrated with men taking women for granted. I know not all men have lost this skill, but it seems to be fading.

I hope the mothers of today are teaching their sons the proper way to treat women and how to behave respectfully in general. I hope other women and I figure out a way to demand it every now and then. I hope we all learn to treat each other with more respect.

And don't even get me started on customer service. Argh.

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