Pedestals and Chivalry

My parents raised my sister and me to be self-sufficient. We couldn't drive a car until we changed the tire on it to prove that if we got a flat we could handle it. We cut the grass, washed the cars, played sports and held down part time jobs. I like the fact that I know I can take care of myself. Right or wrong, I feel disdain for women who can't take care of themselves. However, like most things in life, this self-sufficiency seems to have a downside too.

One problem that I have noticed with women who take care of themselves is that the men in our lives begin to take that for granted. I can lift heavy objects so I often carry things myself, even when there's a guy around. I can fix small things around the house so the amount of times they get fixed for me are limited.

I know it's a double standard. I know that I want the best of both worlds. I want to be an independent woman but I also want to be placed on a pedestal every now and then. Sometimes, I want to feel like a woman and not a complete equal. I want to be treated like a princess every now and then.

I love it when gentlemen (and I am intentionally differentiating these from men) hold the door open for me or let me step onto the elevator first. It's nice to have someone offer a hand when your arms are full. In return, I try to be polite to those around me - both men and women - and offer the same gestures.

I know this is a rambling post, but I'm frustrated with men taking women for granted. I know not all men have lost this skill, but it seems to be fading.

I hope the mothers of today are teaching their sons the proper way to treat women and how to behave respectfully in general. I hope other women and I figure out a way to demand it every now and then. I hope we all learn to treat each other with more respect.

And don't even get me started on customer service. Argh.

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday - the day commemorating Jesus' death on the cross. This is always an emotional day for me. I'm what my boyfriend calls a "cafeteria Catholic." I certainly follow Catholicism but I don't believe all of their teachings 100%. I think that priests are regular people with regular problems who have chosen to devote their lives to teaching God's word. Does that mean that they're better than the rest of us? Not necessarily. I've known a fair amount of amazing people who did not choose a religious life. They may not have become ordained but they were certainly Christ-like.

At mass we spend the Lenten season focusing on how to be better people. I think this is what gets me emotional on Good Friday. I'm not a horrible person, but I want to be a better person - a better friend, daughter, sister, godmother, even stranger. I want to be kinder to those I love and to those I don't. It's hard to be kind when people infuriate and frustrate me.

I often say that everything we do has a consequence. Sometimes those consequences are positive and sometimes they are negative. I need to get it into my head that those actions don't just have consequences for me, but they often have consequences for others as well. That's not as easy to remember and certainly not as easy to act on. I'm going to try.

Here's to a happy Easter. Hope the Easter bunny brings good stuff to everyone.

The Worry Gene

One of my favorite uncles (great uncle, actually) passed away last week. He was an elderly man, but died in a crazy fall caused by getting up from his chair too fast to answer the front door. Based on his age, 84, it wasn't a complete surprise, but still shocking. He'd beat cancer and was really on his way to getting better. It was at his funeral that some cousins and I began talking about our family's tendency toward worrying. I certainly inherited this gene.

Don't get me wrong. I don't worry about little things. I'm not concerned about my car running out of gas or getting a hang nail. I worry about bigger things like my future, money issues or whether or not those I love are taking care of themselves. Maybe the reason why I'm often over prepared is because I want to keep myself from worrying more. I'm not sure if that's the case but it seems logical. My pantry is always well stocked and I probably have 15 rolls of toilet paper in the house right now. Because of that, I don't have to worry about running out.

Anyone who really knows me knows that I have this characteristic. It's just nice to have something to blame it on.

So the next time I get that huge multi-pack of paper towels and somebody (and you know who you are) asks me why I need that much, now I have the answer.

No worries, right?