Thursday, June 25, 2009

Relationship ROI

I asked my friend the other day how far into our lives we should carry the ROI (return on investment) concept. Can we carry this idea to relationships?


Here's the formula: To calculate ROI, the benefit (return) of an investment is divided by the cost of the investment; the result is expressed as a percentage or a ratio.


This means that the higher the percentage of return on your investment (or rate of return), the better investment you have made. It sounds to me like the perfect definition of an equitable relationship.


If I give a lot of myself to my partner, but he doesn't give me much in return, then my relationship ROI is low and his is high. He's getting a pretty good deal and I'm not. However, if I give a lot of myself and he gives a lot of himself then the relationship's ROI is high for both of us.


I know that the fact we're talking about the gray areas of emotions and love bring in all new funky factors. I don't mean to imply that relationship ROI is anywhere near as black and white as financial ROI (and that's not really crystal clear either). I think with relationships, like savings accounts, you can't look at the immediate ROI. You need to take a larger sample to get a real feel for what's going on.


Certainly all relationships are not created equal. Why do some people have a tiny amount they can put in before they're maxed out while others seem to have an endless pool of wonderful returns? Why are we willing to tolerate lessened returns from some but not others? What and how long does it take for us to figure out that the return is too low for us to tolerate? Honestly, I don't know how it all works.


Maybe, just maybe, we need to take a step back and figure out if the people in our lives are getting decent returns from us. Are we giving enough of ourselves to sustain the emotional investment they have in us? Are we worth the time they spend on us?


Ah, screw all this. I'm going to buy a lottery ticket.


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